Chapter 3 — Google Maps
And thus begins Chapter Three.
Now, children.
Onward.
The camera quest remained alive.
Stitch drove.
I sat behind.
The scooter moved.
And so far?
Children.
So good.
The council looks back toward the police checkpoint.
We are choosing to define “good” generously.
Correct.
Nobody had been arrested.
The scooter still possessed all required wheels.
The camera remained physically present.
Therefore
good.
Now.
Travel requires fuel.
The council nods.
Petrol?
Eventually.
Children.
I meant us.
Munchies.
Non negotiable.
Because somewhere along the road
pani puri.
Stop.
There are certain establishments one may pass.
There are others where the body simply issues command authority.
Pani puri?
Stop.
The council approves.
We ate.
Continued.
Then perhaps later
shawarma.
Children.
Also stop.
Was this an efficient camera repair expedition?
No.
Was it delicious?
Yes.
The council closes the complaint department.
And so the journey progressed through a sophisticated sequence of:
Drive.
Smoke.
Talk.
Eat.
Drive.
Smoke.
Talk.
Eat.
The camera waited patiently somewhere inside Stitch’s possession,
presumably wondering why its medical emergency had become a food tour.
Eventually
arrival.
The council leans forward.
Where?
Somewhere.
Helpful.
Stitch knew.
That was enough.
She checked the route.
Then said:
“The shop’s around the corner.”
The council nods.
Excellent.
Quest completion imminent.
We rounded the corner.
Her phone vibrated.
And from the tiny rectangle came the voice of certainty.
“You have arrived at your destination.”
The council smiles.
Beautiful.
We looked ahead.
Silence.
Rubble.
The council pauses.
Rubble?
Rubble.
Children.
Not:
shop closed.
Not:
shutters down.
Not:
wrong business occupying the building.
No building.
The council slowly rises.
Before us lay
rocks.
Bricks.
Dust.
Broken concrete.
Fragments.
The assorted remains of architecture.
Everything one expects to see when a building has recently died.
Tragically.
The council removes its hat.
Rest in peace.
We stared.
Phone:
You have arrived at your destination.
Reality:
This destination has been removed.
Children.
The confidence was magnificent.
Google Maps had not hesitated.
No:
Destination may be unavailable.
No:
Business information might be outdated.
It guided us directly to the corpse.
Turn left.
Continue straight.
Around the corner.
You have arrived.
The council laughs.
Technically correct.
The coordinates still existed.
The shop did not.
We stopped the scooter.
Looked at the rubble.
Looked at each other.
Then
phone.
Surely mistake.
We checked Maps.
Correct location.
The council leans over.
Maybe another shop with the same name?
Nope.
This one.
Address matched.
Pin matched.
Everything matched.
Then we checked the business information.
Children.
Currently open.
Silence.
The council erupts.
CURRENTLY OPEN?!
Apparently.
According to Google,
somewhere beneath several tons of demolished building material,
commerce continued.
The council looks toward the ruins.
Dedicated staff.
Very.
Perhaps the camera technician had achieved incorporeal form.
Maybe one simply handed the camera into the rubble
and a repaired camera emerged twenty minutes later.
The council nods solemnly.
Advanced service model.
Children.
We stood there.
Stoned beyond usefulness.
Looking at the dead building.
Then at the phone proudly informing us:
CURRENTLY OPEN.
And
laughter.
Again.
The council sighs.
Of course.
Not mild laughter.
No.
The kind that only becomes worse because the situation itself is stupid
and both participants are chemically equipped to find stupidity profound.
Stitch laughed.
I laughed.
One of us pointed at the rubble.
The other probably looked back at the screen.
CURRENTLY OPEN.
More laughter.
Children.
Google Maps had guided us with the confidence of a divine oracle
to a place that no longer possessed walls.
How could you not respect that?
The council nods.
Absolute commitment to outdated information.
Eventually,
we recovered.
Mostly.
Camera still broken.
Original quest marker
dead beneath rubble.
The council updates:
CAMERA SHOP ONE:
DEMOLISHED.
BUSINESS STATUS:
CURRENTLY OPEN.
MISSION STATUS:
COMPLICATED.
Children.
Now sensible people might have immediately begun searching for another repair shop.
And we did.
Eventually.
But first
shawarma.
The council stares.
Another one?
Children.
There was a stand nearby.
What would you have us do?
Ignore it?
We had already suffered disappointment.
Emotional recovery required meat wrapped in bread.
The council reluctantly accepts.
We parked.
Ordered two.
Sat or stood nearby.
And ate.
Quest temporarily suspended for lunch number
whatever.
Munchies chronology is difficult.
Stitch had her phone out.
Searching.
Actual useful behaviour.
Children.
This is why Stitch was the competent member of the expedition.
While I concentrated on shawarma,
she searched for alternatives.
Camera repair.
Nearby.
Another shop.
Somewhere.
Scroll.
Check.
Maybe call.
Maybe reviews.
The exact research process is lost.
But eventually
new location.
The council hears a notification.
Quest marker updated.
Another repair place.
Not terribly far.
Promising.
And,
most importantly
apparently still possessing a building.
The council applauds.
Standards had dropped.
Understandably.
Now.
There was one detail.
The new destination was not conveniently sitting on the main highway.
Children.
We would have to leave the obvious road.
Turn away.
Go deeper.
Somewhere off the highway.
The council becomes interested.
Main road?
No longer on itinerary.
Correct.
The simple expedition had officially begun changing shape.
The original route had been straightforward.
Manipal.
Road.
Shop.
Fix camera.
Return.
Now the shop was rubble.
The route had changed.
The next location lay elsewhere.
Off the highway.
And we had no reason to return to the original plan because
the original plan had been demolished.
Literally.
The council nods.
Hard to argue with rubble.
So we finished the shawarma.
Wiped hands.
Probably smoked.
Children.
Maybe.
Archive law.
We do not invent cigarettes merely because statistical probability is enormous.
The council approves.
The scooter waited.
Stitch mounted.
I climbed behind.
Phone navigation updated.
New destination set.
The camera quest survived.
The council opens the quest log.
ORIGINAL OBJECTIVE:
Fix camera.
STILL ACTIVE.
ORIGINAL SHOP:
Dead.
REPLACEMENT SHOP:
Located.
ROUTE:
Off highway.
NUO RESPONSIBILITIES:
None.
Excellent.
We pulled away.
The shawarma stand shrank behind us.
The rubble disappeared.
And once again
road.
But not the same road.
The highway was no longer our guide.
The new quest marker pointed elsewhere.
Children.
Side roads.
Unknown turns.
The kind of route where you stop moving through a place
and begin moving into it.
Story Nuo did not attach philosophy.
Story Nuo thought:
Okay.
New shop.
Let’s go.
Stitch drove.
I sat behind.
The scooter turned away from the main road.
And the camera,
still broken,
continued dragging two idiots farther from the neat little expedition they had originally planned.
The council smiles.
Thus concludes Chapter Three.
The Pani Puri Intermission.
The Shawarma Intermission.
The Confident Navigation.
The Corner.
The Rubble.
The Currently Open Corpse.
The Stoned Laughing Fit.
The Second Shawarma.
The Replacement Quest Marker.
And The Departure From The Highway.
Children.
Google Maps said:
“You have arrived at your destination.”
The destination had been demolished.
Google Maps then said:
“Currently open.”
The council looks toward the pile of bricks.
Customer service
remarkably optimistic.
So we ate shawarma,
found another shop,
and carried on.
